Pinterest 1973 Dabney Street: August 2013

Friday, August 23, 2013

Every four years, I seem to get inspired to create some magical hair potion. When I start reading about the latest hair trends, I start ordering, buying and collecting various oils and butters. My cabinets begin to fill with mystery concoctions that I have to eventually throw out. The product Junky in me begins to rear its evil head. I end up with a shopping cart of oils that I have no idea how to mix! Then I begin to slather these things on my hair not realizing what they are doing. I am just hoping for a miracle that shoots the hair from my scalp! The first thing I bought was a vile of lavender oil. I wanted to make that refreshing spray recipe Lorraine Massey wrote about. I loved it! Made countless spray bottles of it! Then I started reading about how Coconut oil was a miracle, helping the hair stave off Hydral Fatique(water overload) and penetrating the hair to the deepest level. So I bought some more Coconut oil. Quickly, I began accumulating bottles and bottles of oil! Yet, How was I to begin using them and reaping the benefits? The more I read and researched the more oils began to show up in my house. Avocado oil for hair growth, wheat germ oil for the amino acids, grape seed oil for low porosity hair treatments! All of these oils began to crowd my shelves. I started to accumulate recipe combinations; 1/3 avocado oil mixed with wheat germ and grape seed would pack a punch for your scalp! So many recipes! Then the little plastic bottles started to show up! Jees! I was an oily mess! My poor husband started to complain about the oily, greasy doorknobs! He wears glasses and every time he tried to hug me my oily hair would grease up his glasses! Once again, I was getting frustrated with the process. My hair was still very dry and it wasn’t curling at the ends! When I read about the L.O.C. method, it all became clear. L.O.C. stands for Liquid, Oil, and Cream. You see, I was under the impression that we moisturize our hair with oil. We have been doing this for years! For the longest time, we all thought oil equaled moisture. Who hasn’t had to hold the jar of Blue Magic Bergamot while our mothers put up our hair for the week! Our mothers put the oil on our hair to block the moisture from hitting our press and curls! Right? I had to get used to the idea of doing this in reverse! You literally have to LOCK in the Moisture with the oil then apply your styling cream to reinforce the whole process. I had to master this process.
Another book was suggested to me called “Curly like me” by Teri Leflesh. When I originally saw this book suggestion, I immediately thought, “nope, not for me”! Here she is a biracial/3b, with curls cascading down her back. Nope this would never be me! My hair just doesn’t do this! I went to Amazon one day and looked up the book and listened to her introducing the book. Her story of being shuttled between the two worlds of well intentioned parents systematically misunderstanding her hair was something I could relate to! Between the perms and the blow dryers, this poor girl never had a chance. The tip of the iceberg was how she permed her hair and it completely fell out in the sink. When she began to let it grow in, she figured if she left the conditioner in, it would help her hair to stay moisturized and in good condition. Sounds familiar. So I bought the book! After reading Ms. Leflesh’s method of caring for her hair, I was officially on the bandwagon! I stocked up on conditioner and took a Friday to try it out! I pre-pooed with my oils (since I had so many) and co-washed my hair. Afterwards, I had an epiphany; let’s try the L.O.C. method and the tightlycurly.com method all in one. This is how I did it! 1. Rinsed my hair and didn’t let a towel or a t-shirt touch it 2. Separated my hair in four sections and clipped it 3. I took my oil mixture and applied it to my hair in 4 sections 4. Then, I applied “Hello Hydration” conditioner in large dollops and brushed it through with a Denman Brush, I saw CURLS!!!! 5. Then I flat twisted my hair and let it air dry. This worked brilliantly! I was very happy with it! My hair dried clear, with NO white residue! I began to see actual curls and my ends were NOT crunchy! FINALLY! Some real progress! This was my new wash routine! However, how was I going to get this result every day? This is where he differences became apparent. She has very long hair that she braids up at night and unravels during the day. What was I going to do with my regular old 4a/b hair? This is what I did: 1. At night I mixed castor oil with VO5 strawberry Milk Protein conditioner and flat twisted my hair. 2. In the morning, I take down the flat twist and fluff out to mask the parts.
I did this for a month and my hair began to flourish. The texture of my hair was smooth and my ends were soft! This was all fine and dandy until stumbled upon the topic of Hair porosity!
What is the L.O.C. method?? What’s the Curly Girl Method??? I joined a group on face book called Kinky, Curly, Coily, Me! I asked as many questions as I could think of. The ladies on the site were so helpful and knowledgeable. I kept hearing about the L.O.C. method. Then I kept hearing about the curly girl method. What are these things? Then I kept hearing about Castor oil growth Challenges. Don’t people know that genes control your hair’s growth! I never had Long Hair; it’s just not in my genes!! It’s not my thing! Yet, I was curious. I had to sit for a second. How was I going to seriously get my hair back to its pre dye job healthy state? It was time to start reading! Back to Google I went. Through the NaturallyCurly.com website I found the Curly girl method, by Lorraine Massey as illustrated by one of the featured vloggers. I knew about Lorraine Massey because of her Deva Curl products I had tried when the money was good. Her eye opening book helped me to give up some of the bad habits and practices.
In the trash went the hand held dryer and got myself a bonnet dryer and a Denman Brush. Luckily, I already had a big tooth comb! Yet, I stop combing my hair so much and began using my fingers more. I started to learn the terminology of the curly girl like pre- poo and started using some of the methods. The one thing that I was hesitant about was the Curly Girl method. That Friday, I decided to try this method for grooming curly hair. For an hour, I sat under a dryer with coconut oil on my head. Now for the test; I went in the shower and Co-washed with As I Am Coconut wash , rinsed and applied some Suave coconut conditioner to my hair and left the conditioner in my hair. I followed her directions to the letter! Afterwards, I waited for the magic to happen. Three hours later my hair was still white, and still wet. This method wasn’t for me. Nevertheless, I did like what she had to say about keeping the conditioner in your hair. Yet, there were all these techniques that require you put some kind of oil on your head. Where does that come in? I kept reading. On my Nook reader, I came across a book called the “Science of Black Hair” by Audrey Davis-Sivasothy. This book changed everything about how I saw our hair. I read and then re-read this book. Where was this woman 20 years ago when I first went natural? Ms. Davis Sivasothy breaks everything down! She thoroughly explains the growth cycle of black hair, how we plateau to shoulder length hair, and how to properly set up a hair regimen. She also proves Black hair DOES grow, and genes are only partially responsible for length. How we take care of our hair on a daily basis is most important!
Finally, I could possibly see shoulder length hair and beyond in my future. For years, I had it so wrong. For example, we have been conditioned to think water is terrible for our hair. Even as a natural, I dreaded getting my hair wet. I always thought oil or hair grease made your hair grow, and applying it to your hair that hadn’t been washed in days was the answer to preserving your hair. Then when I did wash my hair, I did this torturous thing of basically stripping it down dry hair and washing it with sulfates and harsh detergents. My hair had been screaming, “I AM DEHYDRATED!!” as it fell off of my head! In the “Science of Black Hair”, I read about the shoulder length plateau that has plagued many black women. The longest my hair had ever gotten to was to my mouth. Then I would cut it because it would begin to shed or break off or I got bored. I never even got to the shoulder length plateau. Who am I to think shoulder length was even an option for me let alone bra strap length. Yet I kept reading! In addition to reading Davis-Sivasothy’s book, I began reading the BGLH website in depth. For the longest time I thought these cycles happened at separate times. They actually happen at various times. I also thought that if you were biracial or had some significant mixture in your back ground you were bound to have long hair no matter what you did to it. This is how we had seen people for years, these were the stories that we were told. When I started reading the routines of the featured women it helped break this age old stereotype of Black hair growth. I was inspired to create a routine for myself. From this point on I will share with you how researching helped me get on the right path to healthy hair!
Christmas time rolled on and I was determined to feel grateful for something! I had decided to take on a new hobby. The Ukulele! While sitting in church choir, I saw one of the altos carrying a ukulele box to another room. It hit me, I can’t play guitar for shit! Why not try the Uke! It’s smaller, less strings and it looks fairly unintimidating. My husband is a musician as well; he plays the guitar and the bass. He works on weekends playing in a combo at a restaurant. His boss plays the Ukulele as well. He asked him if he had a random Uke I could practice on just to see if I could handle it. He lent me his old ukulele and I began studying it.
Quickly, I began to get the hang of it. However this ukulele was so old the tension in the pegs began to weaken. The A string would loosen and the note would go flat. I had gotten so attached to playing songs, it was disappointing to have stop. So my husband bought me a ukulele for my Christmas present.
By Christmas, time my hair and I were getting along. I had trimmed it into a very nice shape and had decided to let it grow out. That new found freedom I felt in Salzburg was carrying through. I wore it in an afro more and didn’t bother with Curl definition. However it was feeling more and more like paper again. It would grow out; feel like a dry mess of straw then break off. The only thing that was growing was my frustration. I began co-washing again it helped a little but nothing long term. I would oil it, nothing. I would twist and tuck it, nothing. My hair was also doing something strange. It was curly at the root, but would straighten out at the end; an inconsistent curl from root to tip. I didn’t know what to do! Cut it again, maybe? My mind frame was this; my hair has changed this is what happens when you get older. It will never grow longer than it is right now. While watching one of my favorite shows Mirror, Mirror, the host did a segment on Castor oil. Using a tiny bit on your hair greatly improves your ends and reduces flyway's. Desperately, I went to the drug store and decided to give Castor oil another try. In the past I had used it but didn’t think it was beneficial. While setting my hair in twist and tucks, I would mix the castor oil with some of Dove’s oil cream moisturizer. I did this for a month and notice a significant change in the quality of my hair. It started to curl again and felt softer. In my mind, the pieces started to come together. It as if little droplets of information started to hit my head. During this time I had joined the addiction know as Pinterest. Pinning fashion images and style pictures was how I first got interested. Then an Image of a stylish up do on a beautiful black girl caught my attention. How did she do this style? Could I see myself doing the same style? I click the link that was attached to the imaged and recognized the sight from a few months ago. The image was from Black girl Long Hair. I went to this website and started reading about the Young lady who took her hair from Big Chop to some significant length. She changed her regime stop using heat and started treat her hair better. The results were a glorious head of lovely long locks. I began to Google “Natural hair” and then found the website Naturallycurly.com. This is where I found the typing system which I understood but wasn’t sure where I fit in. My damaged hair did so many things I could really identify with 4 A, B, or C! So I just kept reading.
When I got back home, it was like nothing changed. First of all I was home. In my grandest dream, I thought I was going to have to send for my husband and cats. We were going to have to set up shop in Salzburg because I was offered work singing somewhere in Europe. As it turned out, sometimes dreams turn into nightmares. The festival was a great disappointment which led to a depressing 16 hour plane ride home to depression. I had one gig to look forward to. In kind, I agreed to cover the Soprano in a Beethoven 9 concert with a local orchestra. I was excited about this initially. When I came home it was all I had. I took the one recording we manage to get from the whole event, and create a video for it to shop around to various Opera companies and orchestras. I figured I put all that work into training my voice at the highest level , somebody should bite. I got nothing. Not even an “come in and let us hear you sing”. When we began rehearsing for the concert, I was confident in how I prepared myself, even though my heart wasn’t fully into it. I walked around the world like I had been battered and bruised by a heart breaking experience. My coach who helped me with my preparation dealt me a harsh blow when she said I should have been cast for the concert but I looked too old compared to the others. It hurt. Myself image was taking a bruising in the weeks after Salzburg. It was as if the world had changed right under my broad nose. Here I am, undeniably black, and I don’t fit in. Being the Christian woman I am I kept pushing. My duty now was to get a day job and continue with voice lessons and auditioning. The day job was proving more and more difficult to come by. After all, Los Angeles is one of the cities with the highest unemployment. I was able to sign up with my 10th temp agency. They were sending me out on assignments here and there. By this time I my hair was beginning to flourish again. I had braided it with some box braids and it looked okay. The hair that I used was so cheap it would unravel and the braids would tangle leaving me with a mess. I took them down and sported my signature twist and tuck. It was a neat hairstyle that I could undo into a nice textured afro! It was my go to “protective style”. Now at this point I was not so hip on the entire Natural hair lingo. I had gone natural in 1991 and all we had was Caesar cut and braids! Those were the terms we used.
As the subsequent days rolled by, I kissed my husband good bye each day and remained home slightly depressed from the lack of work and prospects I would send out two sets of resumes to opera companies and regular companies for receptionist jobs. I got one call to audition for San Francisco opera’s chorus. I get that one every year. They put me on the wait list and leave me hanging for never. Then I got a call from Long Beach Opera asking me to help them out with the School program they put on for the schools. I thought his would be great to do. I was excited to do it even though they were only going to pay me $50 to do it. Then I had a recital for the Music club I belonged to and another Christmas gig paying $200 at my church. So I was set up for the holidays! I began to heal. The temp agency called me as well. They had a job downtown covering for the receptionist who had lost her mother suddenly. I was excited, real work! Since my hair was growing out, I still wanted to look professional and not do too much to my hair. Plus they called me at 9 am I had to do something quick to my hair. So I pulled out one of my pixie wig and wore it to the assignment! This proved to be a smart but incredibly dumb move. Smart because I got tons of compliments on my work, they were impressed at how quickly I caught on to the office culture and how well I worked the front desk. I looked professional and pulled together with my little pixie wig on.
I wore the wig for a couple of weeks and occasionally switched it up with another short wig. I got tons of compliments on it too. One lady screamed out I like your hair! I walked back and said thanks it’s a wig! Winked and kept going. She came to the front desk and marveled at my wig. The next day, she told me she went to her hair appointment bragging about it and how she wanted my hair cut. The beautician talked her off the ledge. There was one girl who would cover my desk for lunch and she would go on various blogs but one she would go on was BGLH or Black Girl Long Hair. I thought that was interesting. I didn’t know what it was about so I told her to write it down for me. I would look at it later. She had long hair but I think it was a weave. However there was another girl who covered for me who had very long hair. She too was black. This was not a weave. It was hers ALL hers. I thought like most people “she must be mixed with something. I never went back to the website. I thought it was a site for girls who were somehow more blessed than us ordinary girls with ordinary black hair. When I got home, I looked at myself in the mirror as I took my wig and make up off. I undid my little twist and tuck buns and began to think, what if I just not wear the wig tomorrow. Just undo my hair, fluff it out and dress really nice and go into work like this? The next morning, I began operation phase out. I put on a very sleek outfit, and fluffed out my twist and tuck and went in to work as is. I got compliments on my thick hair from some the other said the phrase I dread, “You Changed your hair”. How many of you have heard this phrase? I always think when someone says this it’s their way of really saying, “I don’t understand why your hair is like this, but if I don’t say something you will think I hate it, I actually don’t like it but you caught me staring so I have to say …You changed your hair!” insert slight smile. The head of the company even began to look at me differently. I thought to myself “uh oh”!
I had spent two months working there when the powers that be decided to promote the old receptionist and hire me on as the new receptionist. I was through the roof! I thought “My hair won”! And I got a job! This is great! Prior to taking on this job, I had informed my temp agency of the days I would need off for my various side gigs and to fly up to San Francisco for my audition. They were in total agreement with this and would work around my schedule. The first week I worked on my own as the temp to perm receptionist, I informed the H.R. assistant of the days I would need off. He immediately rushed to my desk and said he knew nothing of this. A slight warm feeling came over me, then immediately my blood turned cold. This was not good. I went to lunch and called my temp agent and told her what had happened. When I came back from lunch, the other receptionist told me that another rep from my agency came to see me. I was thinking all of this was bad, bad, bad! I immediately, started canceling my gigs; I needed this job, and was prepared to sacrifice my reputation as a musician for a day job. The following week I was on pins and needles. Christmas was coming upon us and I was doing anything and everything they had asked of me to keep this job. Then something happened, I answered a call about the Receptionist position that was available. I went cold. I called my temp agent and she broke the news to me, they are rescinding the job offer, they are looking for another receptionist. I was to stay there until they found someone else. Well as luck would have it, that weekend I got food poisoning. I didn’t make it to Monday and they told me not to come back at all. The next thing I did was try to get my gigs back. I got the one!
It was my honest intention to talk about my Hair journey when beginning this blog. But I wanted to share with you my experience in Salzburg for a very important reason. I am going to get to this reason. I will not go on about the festival I attended because it was Crap! The festival was indeed a sham. The best part of the whole business was the 15 people I met.
I now have a place to stay whenever I decide to go back to Salzburg, or to Vienna, Malaysia, Spain, Germany, and England! However, I want to finally get to the real reason why Salzburg is so important to my Hair journey. Are you ready for it? It was the weather.
When I last reported on my hair I shared that it had barely survive 16 hours of airplane air, sweat and gel plastered down by a sweaty scarf attempting to give it some sort of style! Each day in Salzburg brought something new weather wise. Initially, I walked out to chilly temps in the 70’s filled with gently breezes and misty atmospheres! Just my type of weather. I began the day with a shower, wetting my hair and applying some Organic Root Stimulator olive oil hair cream. This had proven t be somewhat useful in the states. I wouldn’t bother with wash and go curl definition. For some reason, my whole perspective on hair and Curl definition went completely out the window. Accepting what was real and authentic was more important. I couldn’t’ hide underneath braids. This is me and I had to look the best I could with what I had on my head. Like the gas station hottie said, the weather in Salzburg changes quite often in the summer. Some days it could be very cold, but the next day it could get quite hot and humid. The longer I stayed in Salzburg the more it began to fluctuate. We had competing storms that would volley back and forth between mountains.
Yet all of this moisture was proving very beneficial for me. My skin looked amazing, and sense we all had to walk a lot, I began to lose weight. Sticking with my simple regime of wetting and applying curl cream to my hair was also proving beneficial. My curls began to come back. The humidity, good clean food, daily walking, and the working helped my hair tremendously. By the time I left Salzburg for home, I was 10 pounds lighter and impoverished, but I got that one and half inches on my hair!

Thursday, August 22, 2013

The next day brought new adventures for me. I went in to the town armed with a new resolve. I was so excited to wake up and look out the window and see something completely different from the mundane alley outside my Temple City door. This window, swung out to the freshest air! Though I was greeted with the view of other dorms to my left, to my right I saw a path that was green and lush. Salzburgians were walking and biking as if the train of life was continuing. I wanted to hop on that train but first I need to eat and shop for groceries! Being the early riser, I leaped out of bed and jumped into action. I had the whole day to myself so it was time to get it started. I washed up and got dressed. As it turned out I did not have a connector for my devices from this century! The one that I had was not going to fit into the walls. All my devices were slowing bleeding battery life. What an opportunity to go to the stores down the street! There was a market, Merkur; Ihr Markt , it was the grocery store, it didn’t open until 7am. There was mini mall down the street also opening later. Most importantly, there was a gas station that sold coffee! I went there first! When I say gas station, what comes to mind is our Am/PM market where you can get 32 ounces of sugary soda and coffee to go. Right? Well in Salzburg a gas station is not like at all! Upon entering the similarities are initially there! Deeper inside, you see the quaint café station! Then the pastry station! Most importantly, the service of the hottie behind the counter! Yes! I said Hottie! He was a tall man, very slender with round brown eyes, a genuine smile and a clean shaven head. Peeking behind the door was his adorable boxer, equally slender and friendly! I sat down at the kidney bean shaped counter and ordered some coffee. They sold a brand called “Afro” coffee “Strong for the men, smooth for the ladies” was its motto! Sporting my own TWA I felt at ease with the graphic on the tray. The coffee was just a step below the Julius Meinl coffee but still really good!
The gentleman and I got into a nice conversation about Salzburg weather, gas prices, and the differences in gas stations in America! He served my coffee on a tray, with a one of those cute bottles of water, and ginger bread like cookie along with my croissant. Another gentleman came in and he was equally polite. It felt good. I felt very comfortable. At first I felt as if I should rush out but I remembered that most places in Europe, it’s okay to sit a while and linger over your Afro coffee! Once 7 am rolled around, I got myself together and paid my bill. The handsome attendant pointed me in the direction of the hardware store in the mini mall and I was off! I crossed the street and set my sights to the stationary store. I hadn’t brought a lot of writing materials so I picked up some pens and pencils and a shopping basket. I remembered that you have to pay for shopping sacks in European markets. I bought a black zippered shopping basket that in America is commonly mistaken for a picnic basket. Then I went to the hardware store. Picked up my plugs and was off to the Grocery store. As I mentioned before, my favorite part of getting adjusted to any new place is going to the super market. When I walked into the market, I have to admit I was confused! The door to the left was the check out location and the door to the right was the produce area. Okay what’s confusing about that? One cannot not simply walk into the door to the left; you have to walk to the right! Okay fine! So the door slid open and the bouquet of fresh everything comes at you! The café area is cooking up some good meats to the far right, Mozart apples abundantly calling out to you, greens freshly washed and displayed and the buzz of carts being wheeled around you by eager staff. Since I had rested and my mind wasn’t so foggy, I was able to get my mind into German mode! Reading all the labels helped and being totally confused by the layout also helped. First I walked around the store, taking in the sights of the market. It had been 4 years since being in Germany; I had totally forgotten the time span of bread! Therefore, seeing the bakery staff trashing bread like there was a virus on it startled me. I remembered everything is so fresh here that it goes bad and has to be tossed. As I walked towards the meat section I was in awe of the selection of Sausages!!!!!! There was actually a wall of wurst! It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen! I am a sausage girl! So this was, well, exciting in the most visceral sense! I went immediately for the little Nuremberg sausages eight in the pack. I knew I was going to be back for more so it was no problem. Then I got a couple of Kaiser Rolls and dense bread. The coffee aisle was extensive and overwhelming! I wanted to stock up on bags of coffee to take home though I was unable to because of my low funds. Since I didn’t have a coffee maker at home (yes I was calling it home) I couldn’t get the regular stuff so I bought the little instant packets. I thought yuck instant coffee how terrible! It was actually damn good! I bought two packs and had enough to bring home, to California. By the end of the market trip, I bought bread, sausage, water, pasta, butter, Goats milk and other toiletries. I was set for a while. I paid the cashier who was very cool! She reminded me of my friend Jackie back home. She and engaged in an all German conversation. I was so through the roof that I retained my high school, college and cd-rom German! After I put my groceries away, I took the bus back to the old town and spent the entire day walking around and seeing what I couldn’t comprehend the day before! This time the sun was out and the whole town glistened in a taupe and rustic green patina. The river continued to roar and the tourist converged in the city buzzing with the same happy energy I had. I didn’t care that I was by myself I walked around and spoke to anyone, took pictures when asked and got a beautiful shot of myself on the bridge with the Hohen Salzburg Fortress behind me. When I kept walking, I spied cute shops and cafes filled with regulars, the locals riding bicycles tolerating tourist, and then as I rounded another corner, there he was, Mozart. Everyone taking his picture as his eternal statue stood gracefully. He was never so graceful in real life, I bet. I stood there and just stared at it. The longer I stared the more I felt this is real. Then I was asked by two adorable Japanese girls to take their picture. I said as long as you take mine! We agreed!
The day of my flight, I had to bright Idea to dress very business casual. I wore a pair of khaki coloured jeans, a nice floral shirt and blue blazer. I had shoes that I could easily remove and a nice scarf just in case I got chilly. I decide to slick my hair down with the gel. When my mom dropped me off to the airport I was a well Package little world traveler, until I couldn’t find the airlines. I had misread my ticket. I was frantically looking for Austrian airlines when I was flying out on Canadian Airlines. DUH! With my backpack and two suitcases I ran down to the Canadian Airlines terminal and began check in. Mind you I had flown overseas before with my Choral group. We toured Germany in 2008. However, I had never in my 39 years flown this far by myself. First misstep avoided. I checked in with plenty of time to spare. Testimony to the Eco Styler Gel, my slick down was still attached to my head. I was still pretty put together. On the other hand, by the time I got to Toronto, I was quickly running low of funds. I had managed to raise the money for the rip but I was still very cash poor. My husband and I had managed to budget $200 for the next three weeks. I was to staying in a dorm like room with a kitchen, so I would buy food, I would get a bus pass once I got to Salzburg that would cover the three weeks. That cost me $18 per week. I had $100 in the bank, yes, $100. The rest of the money I would get in Euros. $200 turned in to €175. Sitting in the Canadian airport eating my over priced lunch; I was still excited and confident about what I was doing. I studied the lyrics to each aria. I had written out a cheat sheet that I carried with me everywhere. We boarded the Lufthansa flight to Vienna and I was off!
By the time I landed in Vienna, I was growing very weary; I was a constipated, sweaty and disheveled mess. I wish I had worn a pair of sweats and Uggs! The Vienna terminal is brand new and sleek. However it took me forever to find where I needed to go. With my German I was confidant in forming sentences t ask for help. As soon as they heard my phrases everyone quickly switched to English. Upon finding the right terminal, I quickly went to the restroom! What a relief! However, I looked in the mirror and saw there is a limit to how effective this gel worked. My hair became a puffy nightmare. So I took my scarf and wrapped it around my hair in an attempt took look as stylish as I could. I went back to the terminal and sat and looked out the window. I thought to myself, I have accomplished something that I didn’t think I had the strength to do! I am in Vienna! HA! Interrupted by the effortless sound of English, the cutest little girl ran to the window with her mom and big sister in tow! She said hello to me and I felt relief. There is nothing like hearing English when you are by yourself in a foreign country. I turned around and her mother was extremely friendly. The sister, older and too cool for school was buried in her Iphone. As it turned out the lady and her daughters were travelling to Salzburg as well. Her husband is an opera singer as well and they were meeting up to spend the summer with him while he was singing at the Other Festival. Yes the bigger one. While we waited for the flight, she gave me tons of tips on where to go for food, where to eat and hang out. She also told me about a man who is at the farmers market that makes the best roasted chicken. I never found that guy! As I looked at my watched I noticed we had been sitting there for way too long and no one had come to the terminal to start boarding. I looked outside and notice a trailer filled with suitcases rolling on the tarmac. Conspicuously, my pink suitcase was rolling right along with it. The lady whose German was far better than mine asked the soft spoken terminal manage where I flight was. He said it was at the opposite gate. We all panicked and grabbed our things and begged to be let on! They shuttled us to the plane and we were off! Phew! After we boarded we said our goodbyes and I quickly began to fall asleep. Fifteen minutes later, I was awakened by a gentleman who smelled of smoke and looked like someone who played guitar for an 80’s band. His wife could have been a band groupie. They were letting me know the snack cart was coming around. I squeaked out a “Danke” and got myself prepared. As I looked out of the window I couldn’t believe how beautiful the mountain tops were. The small town looked every bit the fantasy I had in my head. My brain, of course, was playing the opening scene of “Sound of Music”. When I got my coffee and the cutest bottle of water in the world, I was taken aback by the aroma of nutty, chocolaty, heaven that is Julius Meinl coffee. It is by far theeeee Best coffee I have ever tasted. EVER. That primed me for what I thought was the pinnacle of Café drinking. When we landed, I wanted to cry out I’M HERE!!!!! But I was by myself; that would have been really un-cool! I got to exit the plane in diva style, they rolled over the stairs to exit, and I strolled off as if I was a diva from the past. I want to wave and say, “Please no cameras! No cameras. Now stop it!” When I entered the small airport I saw the bust of Mozart and thought Pilgrimage complete. There is Wolfie; the one composer who brings me joy to sing and Dabney Ross Jones is in his Heimat!
Who of thunk it! After getting my bags I had to figure out how to get out of the airport. I walked out and hailed a cab. All I could hear was cha ching! More money being spent! Luckily my room was paid for before I left. When I got to the Apartments I unloaded my bags paid the driver and checked in. One thing; it was 1pm and check in was at 4pm. No early arrivals! UGH!!!! Lesson Learned? You can always depend on the kindness of strangers. Make sure you insist on checking in early or make a plan for yourself when you arrive early. Take more money with you because things always come up! What does a girl do when waiting for her room to get ready? Walks off jet lag in a Baroque city. The ladies at the Apartment let me keep my things at the office and gave me instructions on how to get to the old town. I went to the bus office which was right down the street, bought my weekly pass and hopped on the number eight bus into the Alte Staadt! 16 hours of traveling leaves a girl looking and smelling like, well, shit! I looked like Shit! Here I am walking around an old city looking like the old City! My scarf had soaked up sweat and hair gel and dangled on my head like a bandage. My jeans were now cutting into my bloated belly and my blazer, well, that Talbots khaki blue blazer held up really well! It was the only thing pulling my sad ensemble together. When the bus rounded the curving corner, it became increasingly obvious that I was, indeed, not in California anymore. I was in one of the world’s most beautiful cities.
The Salsach River rushed beneath the bridges with the same excitement as my blood. It was a hazy, chilly day with billowy clouds hovering over the still snow capped mountains. I was in a time warp of jet lag but I was so filled with gratitude to all the people who made it possible for me to see this! When I got off the bus, I didn’t quite know where I was. I just walked. The first place I went was to the Schnapps place called Spöhr that I saw on “Rick Steves’ Europe”. I knew I wanted to get my coach a bottle of schnapps for her efforts in training me. Now, I have never felt limited by my colour. I will walk into a place and not feel a damn thing about who feels comfortable around me! I walked down the Getreidegasse and found the Iconic sign Hanging outside and walked right into that store and said I wanted to sample their schnapps. I recognized the proprietor from the travel show and he seemed quite taken a back with me. In this bizarre version of Cheers, there were the archetypal characters seated at the bar, your Cliff, your Woody, your Sam, and in comes the norm of the group. This tall striking older gentleman grabbed me and insisted on taking a picture with this travel weary African American woman. He was Like the Norm of the ancient establishment. Luckily, I could understand what they were saying; I didn’t hear anything that I should be overly concerned about. I think we disarmed each other with smiles and flattery. Plus, I bought a bottle of Peach Schnapps! ChaChing!
I made it over to the other side of the bridge to the new side where I found every “Sound of Music” fans favorite spot, the “Do Re Mi” Montage spot. In my extreme poopy jet lag, I took pictures and proceeded to fall asleep on the bench while people watching. Once I woke up, I checked the time and made my way back to the Apartments. I told them I needed to be let in to my room. Luckily the maids were done and my second floor walk up was ready for occupancy! I dragged my suit case up the stairs, unlocked the door, and surveyed the room. It was essentially a dorm. But to me it was heaven! I went into the pristine bathroom unloaded, washed up and went to the plushest bed right to sleep. Lessons Learned? Zzzzzzzzz…
While looking for more singing opportunities, I decided to apply for a program in Salzburg, Austria. By this time Dave and I were struggling to make ends meet, between my unemployment check and his job insecurity we were terrified of what was coming next. I felt going to Europe and testing my Operatic feet was an opportunity to create a job singing. I needed the exposure and thought this was going to be my big break. Every Opera singer makes the European pilgrimage at one point in their career. I had to step on faith! He didn’t agree. I applied anyways! I had to make a video Audition and write countless essays but on Christmas Eve, I got the best present! I was accepted! I was happy and scared. My husband was mostly scared. Then something terrible happened. As I said, I had to rob Peter to pay Paul. When I was rolling the dough, I decided to upgrade from my Chevy Aveo to a safer and bigger PT Cruiser. She was my pride and joy. I had every intention to keep her for the rest of her days. I had been able to support the payments up until my Firing at the production company. The unemployment was not enough. Plus it cost me more to do the opera in Santa Barbara than what they paid me. I was driving two hours each way on bald tires too. I prayed for a miracle. I rode on faith knowing that the Lord had me in his hands. After getting the Acceptance letter from the Festival in Salzburg, I knew the Lord was bringing forth Miracles right to my feet. As I turned the TV off to go sleep I heard the idling roar of a tow truck. I am very used to this sound with the mechanic down the alley! We hear it all the time. However, it was much closer than usual; it was taking my car away!!! Wait, What??? I got this great news during the day and now this? Devastated; I ran outside and pleaded with the tow truck driver! Previously that day, I had ran to the bank and sent in a payment. That didn’t work. I got out some of my property and took it inside crying. All of this happened on Christmas Day. I decided not to let this experience take the work ethic out of me. I threw my efforts into fund raising and getting myself ready for Salzburg. Once I got the assigned music, I began to study and learn every single note. I developed a daily routine for myself that involved learning music, managing my fundraising, and learning as much German as I could. I worked so hard some days, I forgot to eat and make dinner for my husband. My hair, though still was not growing as fast as it previously did. It was breaking more than growing! I didn’t know what was going on. I was trying to squeeze out that inch in enough time to braid it. The texture changed so much I thought that this was my future; dry, brittle, dull. The curl had gone. My hair literally grew out my scalp straight and fuzzy. When I put gel on it; I got nothing, no curl. I pressed on and held out for that one inch. After months of preparation, I was ready to go to Salzburg! I had managed to raise $4000 for the trip, the dresses, and the room and board! I was very proud and prepared. The one thing that was the hardest was figuring out what to pack. There are some extreme weight limits which can be stifling to a baby diva like me. I had to pack for ball gowns plus my regular clothes and shoes. Since I didn’t get that one inch of hair, I decided to trim my hair and wear it in a nice round natural. By this time I had discovered the magic that is Eco Styler Argan Oil Gel. It was cheap and good! I had begun slicking my hair back into a Josephine Baker style hairdo. This helped me grow out my hair before and I thought it would help again. With this gel I had managed to at least show off my waves. The only hair that managed to curl was in the back of my head. This was a marked improvement from the damaged colour bits that stuck straight out my head. What was I going to take with me? I wanted to pack some curl cream for everyday styling and moisture, Gel for slicking down, and shampoo and conditioner. I realized that anything I couldn’t pack I could buy at the markets overseas. This is my favorite thing to do too! I was going to be in Salzburg for three weeks so my curly girl supplies had to last. I got some cute plastic, screw top containers and loaded my Curl cream in, and combined my shampoo and conditioner together. I made it through the weight limit. Lesson Learned? Keep working on your goals even when the life throws you a curve ball.
I’m not an expert. I have never considered myself an expert at anything. However, I am a great learner. Maybe I am an expert at learning. Recently, I had a life lesson thrown me into a stupor. I will spare the details for a later post. I spent many days depressed and sad. I needed to figure out how to get out of my depression without turning to medical options. This is where the learning comes in. Learning something new is a great way to focus the mind on something other than sadness and regret. I choose to pull my efforts into the Ukulele! Then I choose the Violin. Most importantly, I choose my hair! It all started with a dye job gone wrong!
Experts say never make any decision under emotional stress. Well they are right! In 2012, I was at the end of my first job after a long unemployment stint. I was working in Hollywood for a production company. I was under a lot of stress. This job was not what I had expected. They were perks; I got to see some very interesting people, tons of celebrities, free lunch, and after a Nike Shoot I got free gear! Nice right? Well it came at a cost. I was determined to conquer the diva attitudes and constant rule changing to master the front desk of this demanding position. Well At the end of my third month, I had a confident feeling this was going to work, I was fired. Now my home life was on a precarious line of destruction as well. Being a newlywed in this economy is very difficult. I didn’t think we were going to make it. So losing my job, and almost losing my marriage made we want to control something in my life. Unfortunately, I always seek control through my hair. Since I couldn’t stand the sight of my husband at this time, I decided to stay at my mom’s house to clear my head and plan a strategy. My birthday was coming up and it was a big one. I was turning 39. I was growing out a cut into a nice sized fro. I had installed box braid the week before I was let go. So my hair was about nose length in the front and inches away from shoulder length on the sides and back. Yet, I wanted a style that would reflect my new status of impending Woman hood. After all I felt a woman of 39 should have a haircut that reflected this. Plus I just didn’t want to sit and braid it again. So, I went into my mother’s bathroom and with a pair of dull scissors I chopped my 6 inches down to 1 inch. By the time I finished I regretted the hasty decision immediately.
My husband called me the following week and said that he had made an appointment with a marriage counselor to disgust our marriage. We had a ton of issues connected to our past. We decided that instead of throwing everything away we needed to work on ourselves so we can come together. I felt better, unemployed but better. I looked at my new cut and decided that I needed to do something to soften it up. I have always wanted red hair! Red Hair on black people is so unusual and beautiful. I decided to take the plunge and dye my inch long hair red. Went to the beauty supply store and go some Clairol Textures and Tones and 30 minutes later, I was a red head! I loved it. I was coppery and beautiful! I decided to do new headshots and everything! Going short and red made me feel confidant and avant garde! I walked around and embraced the stares! However my Choir director for a group I sang with did not like it. He is very old school and equates Long hair with Beauty. He said I looked mannish! I was insulted, but chalked it up to his antiquated ways! I was not wigging my head for his show! My usual plan when I cut and colour my hair has always been this; Wash, condition, style with gel. As my hair grows out I trim off the colour to my natural colour. Occasionally, I will deep condition my hair. This has worked for me in the past. My hair grew out and all was fine. This time, something terrible happened. My hair was not growing, it was breaking! Breaking terribly! I began seeing split ends so bad that it looks as if I had a head full of tree branches! I was devastated! Later that year, I was cast in the chorus of an opera in Santa Barbara. The costume department wanted me to wear a straw hat on top of my natural hair. What I knew from my mother is, never wear a hat that would rip your hair out of your scalp. I decided to wear a wig plus the hat instead. This helped my hair to rest during the production. By the end of the run, I had a good inch of new growth on top of the two inches. I had stopped wearing gel, and applied Shea Moisture cream instead. This helped a little, but the texture of my hair was so rough and brittle. I thought if I get four inches, I could put braids in and let it rest even more. This didn’t work; I had no other choice but to do another big chop. Lesson Learned? Stay away from major styling decisions under emotional stress! Don’t cut your hair with dull scissors!